In addition to being a lamely infrequent blogger, I am also a fairly lame worker-outer. (I would use a term like 'exercise enthusiast' except that I am not terribly enthusiastic about it.) I do my 20-30 minutes on the enormous elliptical trainer we inherited from my father-in-law almost every day- I'm proud of that. Besides, not using the damned thing would be a travesty as it dominates our sitting room like a 4000 pound white elephant and its alternative uses (coat rack, clothes line, object d'art) are not very palatable to my wife. So every morning I hop up there, set the controls to 'fat burner' (this thing has a control panel like a jet fighter!) and pump away. I face the television and usually pop in a DVD or videotape from our smallish, random collection and work through each one in maybe four or five sessions.
In fact, I am not particularly a believer in collecting DVDs and tapes that we'll probably never watch a second time. We do have a lot of Japanese cultural stuff and a few of the old Japanese classics because of my wife's work but, beyond those, there is no rhyme or reason to the disks and tapes we have sitting on that shelf: the complete Buffy The Vampire Slayer series, Poirot, my brother-in-law's Deadwood (awesome. frantically peddled my way through that back in July), A Fish Called Wanda and an assortment of other things I have no idea how we obtained. Who the hell is Eddie Izzard and where did we get that awful DVD?
But working out on the elliptical is really boring. Even if whatever video I have on is riveting, my mind tends to wander. In a semi-workout trance one morning I managed to convince myself that the large print over the fireplace is really a one-way mirror and behind it are a group of serious white-coated researchers who view me like a lab rat on a wheel. They monitor my workouts carefully noting the speed and revolutions I accomplish each time. Recently they've taken a great interest in how my workout results vary depending on the stimulus coming from the television.
They noted how poorly I performed as I waded through the entire Ken Burns Civil War video series. It's wonderful stuff for sure but despite the 'Johnny Comes Marching Home' and 'Dixie' soundtrack I merely plodded my way through Fort Sumter, First Manassas, Antietam, Gettysburg and Vicksburg. The pace barely even picked up when Grant took Richmond.
But, those secret researchers discovered, good food movies can really get me going. Babette's Feast, even with its sluggish pace and barely understandable soundtrack, got me to over 1300 revs in 20 minutes. Eat, Drink, Man, Woman, especially during the first twenty minutes when that awesome Sunday lunch is being prepared by Chef Chu led to an impressive 1350+ revs! Tampopo, always a favorite, almost caused me to break the machine I went so fast.
The white-coated folks are not so sure this is a good trend. It's my unhealthy fondness for food and wine that has necessitated my need to be on that thing every morning in the first place, one points out. OK, but I have a few more food movies I may need to put into the rotation. Thank goodness we now have Netflix. No, not Sideways. I saw that 'unmounted' twice and hated it. Who can watch a movie where not one but both protagonists are despicable? I told the researchers to stick to their business and quit suggesting flicks for me to watch.
Late last week I popped in The Concert For George, a DVD of the George Harrison tribute concert Eric Clapton organized at the Royal Albert Hall in late 2002, a year after George died. My first two elliptical sessions comprised the first part of the concert, a full Indian orchestral piece beautifully conducted by Ravi Shankar's daughter Anoushka. The results were, as noted by the guys behind the wall, quite brisk. This is the first music DVD I've watched while working out and the results are quite promising: over 1500 revs in fact. The Western part of the show started this morning with moving renditions of Harrison's "If I Needed Someone," "Give Me Love," "Beware Of Darkness," and "Here Comes The Sun." Damn, during the really beautiful "Give Me Love" (sung by ELO- Willbury alum Jeff Lynne) and Clapton's "If I Needed Someone" and "Beware Of Darkness" I was pumping like mad and the time melted away. The white coats must have been very pleased and will, I am quite sure, nod with pure satisfaction when the ex-Beatles, Tom Petty and other rockers hit the stage over the next few days.
As for the future? I pretty much choose my videos randomly. It could be The Graduate, The Triplets of Belleville again or Seven Samurai if Anne doesn't have it at school.
Whatever it is, I am hoping that those gentle folk with the clipboards approve.
No comments:
Post a Comment